Scorn@regan.com

Michael Reagan, the eldest son of the late President Ronald Regan is saving the country, one email account at a time.

For $39.95 per year (instead of free), you can get your very own anti-democratic-handle@Reagan.com, and "put your name next to the name of the Greatest Conservative of all, my father Ronald Reagan," says Michael.

According to Michael, our country is faced with many problems, including the horrible truth that “People who believe in true Reagan Conservative Values are unwittingly supporting the Obama, Pelosi and Reid liberal agenda! What do I mean? Well, every time you use your email from companies like Google, AOL, Yahoo, Hotmail, Apple and others, you are helping the liberals. These companies are, and will continue, to be huge supporters financially and with technology of those that are hurting our country.”

I can’t say it better than that.

Is it very Republican to capitalize on your dead father’s name?

Buying Local and In Season

(Oatmeal: Breakfast of champions and regular people.)

It occurred to me this morning, as I made my oatmeal, that I’ve been eating a lot of strawberries lately. Then it dawned on me: it’s summer. Strawberry is a summer fruit. Duh. And then it hit me (lots of “eureka!” moments this morning – must be the oatmeal), I don’t even know what fruits are seasonal around here, let alone try to eat them. I am completely out of tune with nature. Instead I eat bananas flown in from Ecuador, oranges from Florida and perfumed cardboard from McDonald's.

Everybody’s always talking about eating locally because it’s healthier for the body and the planet, and because it’s cheaper. So I did some research and found this website, which shows what grows in your area and when:

click here

And then I found this one, which searches local farmers markets and even family farms where you can buy produce:

click here

I think going to a farm to pick up your eggs, milk and produce could be a fun activity, and it will definitely keep you healthy and in tune with the planet and your environment.

Our "Jersey Shore" Viewed From International Shores

The August 2 Newsweek contains an article about “Jersey Shore,” which I thought was just another inane reality show about bloated “babes” with nothing on their minds but money, men, partying and status. And it sounds like it is. Plus this time their are bloated guys too.

But according to the article, it’s not “just” another stupid show.

I didn’t think about this before, but shows like these tell people in other countries a lot about us. Yes, there really are people like the stars of the show. And yes, there are people who waste their time watching it. Of course there are people in those other countries who waste their time watching it too. (Apparently there’s a large cult following in Italy.)

So not only do these shows harm us on a personal level, teaching young people a very backwards idea of what is important in life; they also harm us on a global level, showing the world what we as a country think is important.

I’ll admit I’ve never watched the show. Maybe it has a moral lesson every episode, like being a strong woman or being true to yourself. If it does, I think it’s drowned out by “look how big and unnaturally tan my boobs are in this tight designer dress, and who will I make out with next in the jacuzzi in a drunken haze, and isn’t my hair shinier than yours?”

At least we have the freedom in this country to make ourselves look like idiots and to indulge in and glorify stupidity while our minds turn to mush.

But not everyone in the United States acts like that or watches “Jersey Shore.” Some people strive to rise above this mundane and base reality. So I really hope they don’t think we’re all that way.

Who do you write like?

Apparently I write like Cory Doctorow.

This is according to the Web site I Write Like, which analyzes your writing and tells you what famous author your writing is like.

I guess being compared to any famous author is flattering, and since I was consistently compared to Mr. Doctorow, maybe there's some truth there. (Or maybe this is another ego trip.)

I was also compared to Stephenie Meyer, author of Twilight. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

It's fun, even if it's not entirely accurate. Apparently "Norwegian Wood," written by John Lennon, sounds like Raymond Chandler. Really?

"I didn't ask to see you. You sent for me.

I don't mind your ritzing me or drinking

your lunch out of a Scotch bottle. I don't mind

your showing me your legs. They're very

swell legs and it's a pleasure to make their

acquaintance. I don't mind if you don't like

my manners. They're pretty bad. I grieve over

them during the long winter evenings.

But don't waste your time trying to cross-examine me."

-The Big Sleep

Ok, maybe. They both sound like women haters. And I always knew that song was about burning her place down!

And apparently Walt Whitman sounds like James Joyce. Maybe Joyce sounds like Whitman? And why can't Whitman sound like Whitman?

Anyway, now I'm going to have to read something by Doctorow to see if it's true.

And BTW, according to I Write Like, this post is like Stephen King.

Hmmm.

It's funny; but it's not.

Census Discoveries:

1) There exist motion-detecting sprinklers.

2) People suck.

Ok, something positive

“A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands;

How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any more than he.

I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green stuff woven.

Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,

A scented gift and remembrancer designedly dropt,

Bearing the owner’s name someway in the corners, that we may see and remark, and say Whose?”

From Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself"

(Isn't this exactly what you imagined he looked like?)

Can you imagine that the grass and leaves swaying and dancing in the wind is a conscious celebration of god?

Photo is Grass in A Minor by Drew

The Census: A Rant

I can’t say much, what with the confidentiality thing. But I will say this: some of you people are rude!

I’ve been yelled at and had the door slammed in my face too many times. I’ve had people ignore my genuine “thanks” and “goodbyes” and pretend like I don’t exist anymore. Worse, I’ve had people yell and then sarcastically say “thank you” before slamming the door in my face. WTF?

People, can you try to separate your negative feelings towards the government or whatever, and realize that I am a regular person like you. And I’m just trying to do my job while being polite and cheerful. And you should be embarrassed at how you treat me.

That’s all I can hope for, I guess: realization on your part. I get the urge to egg your house or write you a really mean note. But that passes. When I first started, I would replay the conversation over and over and tell you exactly how I felt. Now I fume for a few minutes and then move on to the next house. It's not my fault you're a jerk.

And not all of you are jerks. I appreciate all you kind people who go out of your way to help me. And who commiserate with me over having to work evenings and weekends in this freakish heat and humidity.

And I guess I should be glad I have a job at all. I only wish I’d run into some of you (Especially you, lady. You know who you are.) at the grocery store or church. I would say, oh yeah, I remember you. You were really rude.